Having been socialized into the age of smartphone, the way I pass time on the long bus journey is to use my iPhone. As I was scrolling through the Newsfeed on Facebook, I came across this article called "The 10 Reasons Why No One Knows What They're Doing In Their 20s" shared by my Facebook friends. The title was interesting enough. I am currently in my 20s and I was bored during the long bus ride to work so why not give it a try?
This article is from the Knowledge For Men website ( http://www.knowledgeformen.com/10-reasons-why-no-one-knows-what-theyre-doing-in-their-20s/ ) and it was really a great read. As I was reading through the article, I could actually relate to the points made by the author. However, by no means, arguments in this article are not absolute truth. They are just opinions of their author. Nonetheless, if it can make you think, whether you agree or disagree, it is worth a read yea? So let me just share my thoughts on it.
The 10 Reasons Why No One Knows What They're Doing In Their 20s
1. You didn't take advantage of your college years
2. You live for the future
3. Your parents control you
4. Your environment is holding you back
5. You have taken the wrong path
6. You stopped learning
7. You do the same thing everyday
8. You've escaped to grad school
9. You're not pushing yourself
10. You're a walking stimulus junkie
Bonus. You're in the wrong relationship
1. You didn't take advantage of your college years
I'm glad I did not commit this "crime". Well, not completely.
During my 10 years of education in Myanmar, I only studied Myanmar, English, Mathematics, Science, History and Geography. When I came to Singapore in 2003 for Secondary school and JC, I again specialized in Science. Only due to a requirement to take at least one subject from Arts in JC, I studied Econs for the first time. I had done so well in Science subjects since young all the way to the GCE "A" level. Fortunately, I chose to study Business in the university instead of choosing Science or Engineering which I knew I could do well. I was really nervous that I would fall behind in class and I wouldn't do well but I forged on.
In Junior College, I took an extra advanced subject (university level) while holding executive committee positions in 2 clubs. Despite my boyfriend urging me not to over-exert myself in university, I joined several clubs (overseas community service, Business School student society, Freshmen Orientation Camp committee, Buddhist society).
While my peers specialized in Finance which would open doors for them to take on well-paying jobs at banks, I stayed true to myself and studied Marketing and Management. I managed to secure a Marking Internship at a well-known MNC. But that's the end. When it was time for me to join the working world, I accepted the job offer from a very famous MNC due to its reputation. But the job was not in my field of interest. I have wronged myself and I need to fix it....
Imagine that an uncle you didn’t know passed away and you inherited millions. If you never needed to work again, what would you fill your days with? What would you want to accomplish? Chances are, the answer to that question is what you should be doing. Find a way to turn your passion into a career. In this day and age we need to stop putting our passions aside and start living them.
- Knowledge For Men
- Knowledge For Men
2. You live for the future
Well, I don't completely agree with this.
Look at the Korean Idols. They had to go through the very-tough trainee years before they debuted to become a star. Yes, they enjoy dancing, singing and performing in front of their fans. But they don't really enjoy the demanding years as trainees. However, to achieve their dreams, they have to survive the touch journey. They know what they want since young. They are working hard towards it. So, we can't really say that they didn't know what they were doing in their 20s.
I guess we need to strike a balance between living in the present and future. If we drink to forget our problems, it only offers us temporary reprieve. Whatever we do should give us happiness in both short-term and long-term.
Well, I don't completely agree with this.
Look at the Korean Idols. They had to go through the very-tough trainee years before they debuted to become a star. Yes, they enjoy dancing, singing and performing in front of their fans. But they don't really enjoy the demanding years as trainees. However, to achieve their dreams, they have to survive the touch journey. They know what they want since young. They are working hard towards it. So, we can't really say that they didn't know what they were doing in their 20s.
I guess we need to strike a balance between living in the present and future. If we drink to forget our problems, it only offers us temporary reprieve. Whatever we do should give us happiness in both short-term and long-term.
You expect that some event in the future will make you happy. Live fully and embrace the present. You can walk your way through life thinking the future will be brighter but if you are not doing the things that matter or count today then you will never arrive. You’ve got to love the journey.
- Knowledge For Men
- Knowledge For Men
3. Your parents control you
I am so glad that my parents were really understanding. They didn't decide subjects I should study, clubs I should join in school, jobs I accept, people I share a flat with, boyfriend I love... They trusted me to choose wisely and supported my choices. Thank you Mommy and Papa (:
I am so glad that my parents were really understanding. They didn't decide subjects I should study, clubs I should join in school, jobs I accept, people I share a flat with, boyfriend I love... They trusted me to choose wisely and supported my choices. Thank you Mommy and Papa (:
While you should respect the wishes and viewpoints of your parents, you don’t have to mindlessly trudge down the path they lay out for you. If you truly want to do something, you need to take control of your own life and do it. At the end of the day, it’s your life to live. It's nothing new for children to hold different values and goals than their parents, and at some point you have to learn to define your own code. This phenomenon is part of coming of age, and it’s a natural, healthy part of the human experience.
- Knowledge For Men
- Knowledge For Men
4. Your environment is holding you back
ahh I agree and disagree with this statement.
Our real friends are the ones who will be there for us in times of need, the ones who do not back-stab us, the one who do not judge us, the ones who believe in us, right? Then, it is not right to not stay in touch with our real friends just because they like to have too much fun, right?
Even if we can leave office by 6pm, we would reach home around 730pm if we do not have private transportation. Then, for those of us who stay on our own, we need to prepare dinner, eat, do the dishes, shower, catch up on the daily news and have "me time". There is also a need to sleep around midnight to have enough sleep to function properly and to remain in good health. To do that, we only have about 1-2 hours available each day, considering that there is no overtime work. So it is understandable that most of us tend to use that 1-2 hours a day for leisure instead of work towards our goals. Shouldn't we have a "work-life balance" too? Even with very limited free time available, it is also not advisable for us to pursue our goals relentlessly by giving up our sleep time. Afterall, time is not only the only valuable asset we have. Health is another priceless asset that we need to maintain well.
But then again, your friends who are pursuing their dreams really act as a good influence and motivate you to act on your ideas too. I have a couple of friends who are starting their own businesses. Their companies may not be very lucrative yet, but the car resale website that my friend has started is pretty well-known among the population. Another friend's rose plantation is giving him enough profits to buy his own car at the age of 24. They inspired me to take that step forward in setting up my online clothes shop - Chic Studio - with my sister. Due to several personal reasons, we have taken a break on this little venture but hey, we learnt a lot!
Filling your nights with temporary pleasure is just that - temporary. It's fleeting. And yes, it will get old. The problem for most people is that when it gets old, they're also old, and in the meantime they haven't gotten themselves to the place in life that they want to be. if you want to get somewhere, then hang out with the people who are already there or who also want to get there. Change your environment, change your friends and you change everything.
- Knowledge For Men
ahh I agree and disagree with this statement.
Our real friends are the ones who will be there for us in times of need, the ones who do not back-stab us, the one who do not judge us, the ones who believe in us, right? Then, it is not right to not stay in touch with our real friends just because they like to have too much fun, right?
Even if we can leave office by 6pm, we would reach home around 730pm if we do not have private transportation. Then, for those of us who stay on our own, we need to prepare dinner, eat, do the dishes, shower, catch up on the daily news and have "me time". There is also a need to sleep around midnight to have enough sleep to function properly and to remain in good health. To do that, we only have about 1-2 hours available each day, considering that there is no overtime work. So it is understandable that most of us tend to use that 1-2 hours a day for leisure instead of work towards our goals. Shouldn't we have a "work-life balance" too? Even with very limited free time available, it is also not advisable for us to pursue our goals relentlessly by giving up our sleep time. Afterall, time is not only the only valuable asset we have. Health is another priceless asset that we need to maintain well.
But then again, your friends who are pursuing their dreams really act as a good influence and motivate you to act on your ideas too. I have a couple of friends who are starting their own businesses. Their companies may not be very lucrative yet, but the car resale website that my friend has started is pretty well-known among the population. Another friend's rose plantation is giving him enough profits to buy his own car at the age of 24. They inspired me to take that step forward in setting up my online clothes shop - Chic Studio - with my sister. Due to several personal reasons, we have taken a break on this little venture but hey, we learnt a lot!
Filling your nights with temporary pleasure is just that - temporary. It's fleeting. And yes, it will get old. The problem for most people is that when it gets old, they're also old, and in the meantime they haven't gotten themselves to the place in life that they want to be. if you want to get somewhere, then hang out with the people who are already there or who also want to get there. Change your environment, change your friends and you change everything.
- Knowledge For Men
5. You have taken the wrong path
Even my own boyfriend is guilty of this. He hates engineering and yet, he is studying Civil Engineering. He wanted to quit but, both his family and I encouraged him to at least finish school and get a degree. Well, you might argue that even Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg were school dropouts and yet, they are successful. Hey, they are geniuses and one in a million kind of guys. I am not saying that Mister is not a genius but we just want a safety net, something to fall back on in case his business venture doesn't work out. This is not exactly a risk-averse behavior, rather I would say that we want to take a calculated risk with a Plan B? Once he is done with school, I would wholeheartedly support him with his business venture. He would be 26 by then and I guess it's not too late to change path? The important thing is to realize that you are on the wrong path and have a willingness to do something about it.
Even my own boyfriend is guilty of this. He hates engineering and yet, he is studying Civil Engineering. He wanted to quit but, both his family and I encouraged him to at least finish school and get a degree. Well, you might argue that even Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg were school dropouts and yet, they are successful. Hey, they are geniuses and one in a million kind of guys. I am not saying that Mister is not a genius but we just want a safety net, something to fall back on in case his business venture doesn't work out. This is not exactly a risk-averse behavior, rather I would say that we want to take a calculated risk with a Plan B? Once he is done with school, I would wholeheartedly support him with his business venture. He would be 26 by then and I guess it's not too late to change path? The important thing is to realize that you are on the wrong path and have a willingness to do something about it.
The mantra for all of this, the surface-level motto that’s been adopted and twisted to encourage the dumbest of behavior, is YOLO. You Only Live Once? Exactly. You only live once, so why waste your time doing something you don’t even care about? Nobody’s going to tell you what to do, and nobody’s going to hold your hand and lead you down the path that will lead you to long-lasting future fulfillment.
- Knowledge For Men
- Knowledge For Men
6. You stopped learning
This is related to a post I wrote in the past about my graduation (http://musingsofmissn.blogspot.sg/2013/03/graduation-6-july-2012.html). Graduation marks the beginning of learning, not the end. To be a better person than yesterday, we have to learn to improve ourselves. Despite being a college dropout, the late Steve Jobs continued to learn from classes which actually attracted his attention. I have been in the working world for exactly one year and although I now know more things compared to one year ago, I guess I could be better. Starting this blog is one of my personal achievements . As a first step, I am going to start learning Korean language seriously from now on, among many other things.
This is related to a post I wrote in the past about my graduation (http://musingsofmissn.blogspot.sg/2013/03/graduation-6-july-2012.html). Graduation marks the beginning of learning, not the end. To be a better person than yesterday, we have to learn to improve ourselves. Despite being a college dropout, the late Steve Jobs continued to learn from classes which actually attracted his attention. I have been in the working world for exactly one year and although I now know more things compared to one year ago, I guess I could be better. Starting this blog is one of my personal achievements . As a first step, I am going to start learning Korean language seriously from now on, among many other things.
When you’re passionate about it all, you’ll be amazed at how quickly you learn, how hungrily you consume new knowledge. This is the wisest investment you can make. Make constant learning a habit. Knowledge can’t be stolen or broken like material things. Invest in your mind, and you’ll be able to put it to work for you until you’re dead.
- Knowledge For Men
- Knowledge For Men
7. You do the same thing everyday
When I was young, I told myself to get a job which didn't require me to do the same thing everyday. But as the speakers of various career talks shared, there would always be a certain amount of admin work to be done everyday, no matter what your chosen profession is. That is really true in my current field of work so, I guess I just have to do better for the same things - more efficiently, more accurately or more effectively. It is really really easy to just go with the flow and keep doing what I know how to do. It is indeed scary to step out of that comfort zone and do new things that which I have no idea how to deal with. Although it is not easy to take control of my life and challenge myself, I would have to stop going with the flow and consciously try. It will not be easy but I will try for a better me.
If you want different results tomorrow, do different things today. It will never be easier to take big risks and try new things than when you're still young - you're likely to have fewer commitments and obligations to hold you down. Eventually, everyone realizes they're temporary. It sinks in, little by little, that you won't be here forever. The fact that you life can and will end, something you're desensitized to as a young person (because we assume our time is still long, and it seems endless), becomes reality. For most people that change comes too late in life. Your time is going to fly by. Start making it count today. Live with purpose. Live with passion.
- Knowledge For Men
When I was young, I told myself to get a job which didn't require me to do the same thing everyday. But as the speakers of various career talks shared, there would always be a certain amount of admin work to be done everyday, no matter what your chosen profession is. That is really true in my current field of work so, I guess I just have to do better for the same things - more efficiently, more accurately or more effectively. It is really really easy to just go with the flow and keep doing what I know how to do. It is indeed scary to step out of that comfort zone and do new things that which I have no idea how to deal with. Although it is not easy to take control of my life and challenge myself, I would have to stop going with the flow and consciously try. It will not be easy but I will try for a better me.
If you want different results tomorrow, do different things today. It will never be easier to take big risks and try new things than when you're still young - you're likely to have fewer commitments and obligations to hold you down. Eventually, everyone realizes they're temporary. It sinks in, little by little, that you won't be here forever. The fact that you life can and will end, something you're desensitized to as a young person (because we assume our time is still long, and it seems endless), becomes reality. For most people that change comes too late in life. Your time is going to fly by. Start making it count today. Live with purpose. Live with passion.
- Knowledge For Men
8. You've escaped to grad school
I was tempted to do that. Grad students are given a certain amount of allowance for which, they do not need to pay CPF. So their month allowance is more than my salary after CPF deduction. They can stay in campus which provides cheaper accommodation than renting outside. Basically, life would be easier. I know a few friends who chose that path. I am not making fun, please don't get me wrong. If they have a very good reason like a dream to become a professor, that's cool. I am only glad that I didn't those this path just to avoid the real life and responsibilities which come with it. I am glad that I can gather work experiences during those few years which would otherwise be spent in Grad School.
I was tempted to do that. Grad students are given a certain amount of allowance for which, they do not need to pay CPF. So their month allowance is more than my salary after CPF deduction. They can stay in campus which provides cheaper accommodation than renting outside. Basically, life would be easier. I know a few friends who chose that path. I am not making fun, please don't get me wrong. If they have a very good reason like a dream to become a professor, that's cool. I am only glad that I didn't those this path just to avoid the real life and responsibilities which come with it. I am glad that I can gather work experiences during those few years which would otherwise be spent in Grad School.
You should go to grad school if you want to pursue a career that requires it. Don’t go just for the hell of it, or to put off entering the job market, or to improve your resume by adding an additional line to it. Show employers results, not degrees.
- Knowledge For Men
9. You're not pushing yourself
To me, this point is very similar to 6 & 7 so I shall not comment anymore :D
To me, this point is very similar to 6 & 7 so I shall not comment anymore :D
Don’t sit back in a comfortable job that will give you a 5% annual raise. You are not learning. You are not pushing yourself. You are not growing. You’re wasting your time and living a life of complacency. If you want to see change, you are going to have to put in the time and hard work. Through perseverance you can out perform those with raw talent and no work ethic any day of the week.
- Knowledge For Men
- Knowledge For Men
10. You're a walking stimulus junkie
Hahaha I m TOTALLY guilty! Just look at my obsession with shoes. At one point, I actually had more than 70 pairs of shoes (yes, I counted)! BUT I do not think that buying latest style shoes prevents me from being a more confident person or achieving my goals! In fact, pretty high heels make me feel confident. And they can act as rewards for us to keep pushing ourselves. So yes, its perfectly fine with me if you wanna do some retail therapy :D
Hahaha I m TOTALLY guilty! Just look at my obsession with shoes. At one point, I actually had more than 70 pairs of shoes (yes, I counted)! BUT I do not think that buying latest style shoes prevents me from being a more confident person or achieving my goals! In fact, pretty high heels make me feel confident. And they can act as rewards for us to keep pushing ourselves. So yes, its perfectly fine with me if you wanna do some retail therapy :D
A stimulus junkie means you are moving from one stimulating quick fix at a time to another, consuming the newest media and trends like an addict. Nice watch, nice glasses, nice car aren't bad things, but when they become all-consuming they keep you from developing a life of action. They turn you into purely a consumer instead of a producer. Stop consuming information and start creating a life worth living. Stop wasting time filling your life with the things that billion dollar marketing companies tell you that you need, and instead build your days on getting where you want to be. Whenever you’re making a decision about life, ask yourself: “Is this making me a more confident person and advancing my goals, or is this distancing me from who I’m meant to be?” If your habits are keeping you from progressing, ditch ‘em—they’re only holding you up.
- Knowledge For Men
There are some points I agree and some I don't. However, it is a great read overall. It has acted as a somewhat wake-up call and motivated me to start acting on these advice. Even if you are no longer in your 20s, don't worry. You can still change. It's better late than never right? So when you have about 30 min to spare, read it and start making a change!
Adios!
xoxo
Miss N
PS - Thank you so much for sticking with me through this super long post! I hope you have benefited one way or another (:
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